


Cooked Goose

by Spacecadet72



Category: The Scarlet Pimpernel - Baroness Orczy, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Chocolate Box Treat, Crack Crossover, Embedded Images, French Revolution, Gen, Non graphic references to guillotine executions, alt text
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29372724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacecadet72/pseuds/Spacecadet72
Summary: It's a lovely morning in Paris, and you are a horrible member of the League of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
Relationships: Goose (Untitled Goose Game) & Percy Blakeney & Armand Chauvelin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 6





	Cooked Goose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [entwashian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/entwashian/gifts).



> As soon as I saw your request for this crossover, which I hadn't even considered before then, I knew immediately that I had to write it. I feel that Percy and the goose share that "being a little shit" trait and had such fun with this one. I hope you enjoy it!

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

The jeers of the crowd mingled with the sobs and pleadings for mercy from the doomed aristos, creating a cacophony of cries as Chauvelin walked towards the Palais de Justice and his office. While some might avoid walking past the Place de la Révolution to avoid the sound and the smell, Chauvelin had chosen this route for how close it came to the executions. It gave him a grim satisfaction to see how they were changing Paris for the better. No longer would the people be crushed under the weight of the aristos’ greed and gluttony.

Citizen Chauvelin was in a particularly good mood this afternoon. He had just learned that the League of the Scarlet Pimpernel would be attempting a rescue of the Vicomte Beauchêne, who was scheduled to meet Madame La Guillotine tomorrow.

With Chauvelin on the lookout for these dastardly Englishmen, he would stop them from saving the Vicomte, and capture members of the League, if not the devil himself--the Scarlet Pimpernel, one Percy Blakeney.

He attempted to push his smile down as he approached the Palais de Justice, but it was difficult to suppress the glee he felt at the prospect of taking down the League. He had to admit that these Englishmen were crafty and had been successful in the past, but that was when they had the element of surprise. With the chief agent of the Committee of Public Safety aware of their plan, Chauvelin knew they would be adding a few English names to the list of those executed tomorrow.

"Citizen Chauvelin!"

Faced with an over excited assistant the moment he had arrived inside helped Chauvelin put on the stern look needed for one in his position. "Yes?" he asked, his words clipped. He did not want to be distracted from his most important task today. "What is it?"

"The key for Vicomte Beauchêne's cell is missing, Citizen." The assistant was showing considerable courage facing him with news such as this.

They were here! It had to be the League. He had not expected them so soon, but he would ensure they did not leave the building. Without even a nod towards the assistant he strode off towards the cells, ordering two guards to follow him.

It was not far to Beauchêne's cell, and Chauvelin forced himself to remain calm, and project his authority as they approached the cell. He normally would have brushed past the guards standing outside this section of cells, but paused long enough to confirm they were men he knew. He did not know their names, but he recognized their faces. They were not planted.

Beauchêne's cell was at the back of the cells, and visible from the door. If the guards glanced in, they were able to see all of the prisoners in this block. And from his position frozen just inside the door, Chauvelin could see that Beauchêne's cell was empty, the door slightly ajar.

With a barking command, he ordered both sets of guards to look for the missing prisoner and his wily rescuers. His anger rising with every forward step he took, Chauvelin soon reached the empty cell. Ignoring the mutterings of the other prisoners, he stepped inside. Perhaps the League had left behind something, some clue that he could use to stop them.

There was not much inside the cell, and it only took a quick perusal for him to confirm that there was no evidence of where they had gone. A clang sounded behind him, and he whirled around to see the door shut behind him. He attempted to open the door, but to no avail. Someone had locked him in, but he had been sure no one had been in the room aside from those already imprisoned. He looked around trying to see who might have done this, but the only thing out of place was one white feather laying near the cell.

* * *

Chauvelin was in the cell longer than he had ever wanted to be locked up, and it only soured his mood further when the guards told him that they had not been able to locate any members of the League or the missing Vicomte.

Chauvelin was almost back in the hall when there was a sharp pain in his leg, almost as if he had been bitten. Letting out a curse that spoke to more than just his physical pain, he turned and once again, there was no one there. All that was behind him was a small white note on the floor by his foot. His heart beating fast, he recognized the paper, having seen many such notes in the past months. Picking it up, he flipped it over quickly, a wave of nausea crashing over him at the all too familiar red flower on the other side. The Scarlet Pimpernel had done it again.

Crushing the note in his fist, his desire to see Blakeney lose his head underneath the guillotine burned within him. "Damn!"

_HONK!_

Chauvelin whipped around in the direction of the noise, and all he saw was a flash of white disappearing down the hall.

* * *

Percy Blakeney, Bart., stood a few blocks away from the Palais de Justice, whistling a jaunty tune as he leaned against a farmer's cart. Even his wife, Marguerite, might have had trouble recognizing him as he was now, his clothing worn and dirty, his hair darkened and pulled back messily with a rough scrap of cloth.

_HONK!_

Percy looked down with a smile at the goose standing at his feet. "All went well? I am glad to hear it."

The goose honked again and Percy nodded. "Yes, without your help, we never would have been able to rescue the Vicomte."

The goose nipped at his ankle, and with a bitten back curse, Percy pushed him back with his leg. "In the cart with you," a current of affection running through his chiding. "We must be off."

The goose honked one last time before hopping into the back of the cart. Percy climbed up to the box, and flicked the reins. He had been skeptical about his most recent follower, given that he was a goose and the previous members had been men, but there was something to be said for his usefulness. Percy's lips curved into a sly grin at the thought of Chauvelin outsmarted by a goose. Percy thought he might execute these plans simply for the opportunity to meddle with the government agent, even if there were no people to rescue. Glancing back at the goose, he barked out a laugh.

“What I would give to have seen him locked in that cell,” he said, shaking his head.

_HONK!_

Keeping his eyes on the road, Percy grinned. “Do not worry, this was not your last chance to bedevil _Citoyen_ Chauvelin.”

_HONK!_


End file.
